My Tequila Story
The other night while I was out with some friends, we were sharing drinking stories. And for those of you who know me, you know I have ALOT of drinking stories. My family could write a book. I told this story the other night and the group really seemed to enjoy it, so I will share it with you.
I was about 22 years old, bearly out of college and working as a Clubhouse Manager at a country club about 45 minutes west of my home town (I was living at home with the folks at the time). Most of the waitstaff were about my age and female, so we would go out after work a lot and have a couple of drinks. One night we went out to celebrate Sarah "Teabags" 21st birthday (her nickname is a WHOLE other story). I am more of a beer drinker and not so much of a hard liquor kind of girl and did not do shots very often. But it was Sarah Teabags 21st birthday, so we had to do tequila!
Needless to say, we stayed at the bar until it closed (which was 1am because it was a Wednesday night). Several of the girls offered for me to stay with them for the night, but I am stubborn, Irish and Polish and that made way to much sense for me to do that! So I headed home. The drive home is a pretty simple one, a straight shot down Route 2 (a small 4 lane highway).
Well, I got about 3 exits away from the exit for my town when I realized I had to pee, I mean REALLY bad. So I pulled over to the side of the road and headed halfway down a pretty steep embankment. I was still wearing my suit from work (a pantsuit). In my drunken state, for some reason, I felt that if I faced away from the steep hill I would pee on myself, so I turned and faced the hill and proceeded to pull down my pants and underwear. I got them down around my ankles and bent over and then the unthinkable happened... I began to fall down backwards through the brush. The next thing I remember (because its all a bit fuzzy) is opening my eyes and I am laying in a drainage ditch, covered in dirt, grass, rain water and my own piss.
Not really knowing how long I had been laying there or what had gone wrong with my peeing technique, I got up, climbed the steep hill and got back in my car and continued to drive home. When I got into town, I noticed that McDonalds was opened (that will give you a clue as to how long I must have been laying in a ditch on the side of the road with my pants around my ankles covered in my own piss) and decided to get a bite to eat. Don't worry, I'm not an idiot, I knew I was in no shape to go into Mickey D's so I just went through the drive thru. Yeah, the lady working the drive through knew me.
When I got home, my mother was sitting at the kitchen table drinking her coffee and smoking her morning cigarette. I sat down across from her and started to enjoy my delicious breakfast sandwich. "You're drunk!" she screamed at me. "Why yes, yes I am" I replied as I took another bite of my sandwich. She proceeded to rant on and on for I think another 10 minutes or so. Then she said, "Get upstairs and sleep it off!" I asked, "What time is it?" She said, "Quarter 'til 8" I started to laugh and got up. "Mom, I can't go to sleep, I have to take a shower and get to work"
I was about 22 years old, bearly out of college and working as a Clubhouse Manager at a country club about 45 minutes west of my home town (I was living at home with the folks at the time). Most of the waitstaff were about my age and female, so we would go out after work a lot and have a couple of drinks. One night we went out to celebrate Sarah "Teabags" 21st birthday (her nickname is a WHOLE other story). I am more of a beer drinker and not so much of a hard liquor kind of girl and did not do shots very often. But it was Sarah Teabags 21st birthday, so we had to do tequila!
Needless to say, we stayed at the bar until it closed (which was 1am because it was a Wednesday night). Several of the girls offered for me to stay with them for the night, but I am stubborn, Irish and Polish and that made way to much sense for me to do that! So I headed home. The drive home is a pretty simple one, a straight shot down Route 2 (a small 4 lane highway).
Well, I got about 3 exits away from the exit for my town when I realized I had to pee, I mean REALLY bad. So I pulled over to the side of the road and headed halfway down a pretty steep embankment. I was still wearing my suit from work (a pantsuit). In my drunken state, for some reason, I felt that if I faced away from the steep hill I would pee on myself, so I turned and faced the hill and proceeded to pull down my pants and underwear. I got them down around my ankles and bent over and then the unthinkable happened... I began to fall down backwards through the brush. The next thing I remember (because its all a bit fuzzy) is opening my eyes and I am laying in a drainage ditch, covered in dirt, grass, rain water and my own piss.
Not really knowing how long I had been laying there or what had gone wrong with my peeing technique, I got up, climbed the steep hill and got back in my car and continued to drive home. When I got into town, I noticed that McDonalds was opened (that will give you a clue as to how long I must have been laying in a ditch on the side of the road with my pants around my ankles covered in my own piss) and decided to get a bite to eat. Don't worry, I'm not an idiot, I knew I was in no shape to go into Mickey D's so I just went through the drive thru. Yeah, the lady working the drive through knew me.
When I got home, my mother was sitting at the kitchen table drinking her coffee and smoking her morning cigarette. I sat down across from her and started to enjoy my delicious breakfast sandwich. "You're drunk!" she screamed at me. "Why yes, yes I am" I replied as I took another bite of my sandwich. She proceeded to rant on and on for I think another 10 minutes or so. Then she said, "Get upstairs and sleep it off!" I asked, "What time is it?" She said, "Quarter 'til 8" I started to laugh and got up. "Mom, I can't go to sleep, I have to take a shower and get to work"
posted by Kristen at 5:49 PM
1 Comments:
Was it Meg working the drive through?
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